


The Sex Song of J.A. Prufrock

by twistedchick



Category: Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Other, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistedchick/pseuds/twistedchick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prufrock at a party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sex Song of J.A. Prufrock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hydriotaphia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydriotaphia/gifts).



>   
>  "If I didn't care for fun and such,  
>  I'd probably amount to much.  
>  But I shall stay the way I am  
>  Because I do not give a damn."1

. . . . .

Let us go then, you and I,  
As the murmuring glances sweep from eye to eye  
Observing us, as much as they are able;  
Let us go, past certain half-deserted rooms,  
The closeted glooms  
Of newcomers hanging up coats and hats  
And being greeted, and greeting in return,  
Sound waves that move in the air in tedious frequencies –  
Enter, if you please.  
The answer to your overwhelming question…  
The buffet table is over there.  
You push back your ruffled hair.

In this room all is not what it seems,  
Not reality but only dreams.2

The dean's old cat has been at the cake again.  
The yellow cat that rubbed its muzzle on the frosting  
Licked its long tongue into the crème filling,  
Lingered upon the lox, ignored the bagels,  
Sniffed at the roast beef, licked the cream cheese and butter  
Slipped past the teapot, made a sudden leap  
And, seeing that the door was open for a guest  
Dashed out into the night, leaving the mess.3

The table's re-set in record time  
As the yellow cat glares through the window from the street  
We ignore the cat and choose something to drink.  
There will be wine, there will be beer,  
And tea for those who do not wish to drink;  
There will be time to think and time to speak  
And time for all the cordials afterward.  
Time to sit together on a couch  
And watch the fire flare upward on the hearth,  
Ignoring those we do not care to see  
And wishing we were home with the TV.

In the room the women come and go  
Talking of Mike and Angelo.4

And indeed there will be time  
For the yellow cat to hunt and to return,5  
To disrupt another party, another night;  
There will be time, another time,  
To care about the words from other mouths  
(Both words I hear and words that I ignore.)  
There will be time for thesis meetings too,  
Time to think of work and of avoidance.  
Time to touch your hand and ask you once  
Or twice, before you actually decide --  
Sometimes both yes and no, or sometimes not,  
Or once again, or twice if you feel hot.6

In the room the women come and go,  
Talking of Spike and green jello.7

And indeed there will be time  
To wonder if we dare and if I care,  
Time to stand and go ascend the stair  
Discreetly, quietly to the dean's old lair  
[They will say: "Prufrock's doing it again!"]  
Our evening exercise of loveseat moving  
Our descent after carefully resetting it  
[They will say: "The dean ignores it. Let it go."]  
Do we dare  
Disturb the dust bunnies?  
In a moment there is time  
For a fast one if we're careful, maybe two.

For I have known them all already, known them all  
Have known the undergrads, the grads, the postdocs too.  
I have measured out my life with rumpled sheets  
I know their voices gasping with a passioned fall  
Beneath the music from across the room  
So, should I not presume?

And I have known their eyes already, known  
The clear appraising glance, the narrow gaze,  
And when I am outstretched beside or under them  
When I am pinned or wriggling on the couch  
Why shouldn't I begin  
To turn the favor back and make them rise  
Should I not, then, presume?

Oh, I have known their arms already, known  
Arms that are strong and sweet and bare  
[And gilded firelight glow on skin and hair]  
Their perfume or cologne  
That stays when they are gone  
Arms that lift weights, or wrap around my back.  
So many in this room…  
Can we do it again?

. . . . .

Shall I tell you I have wandered narrow streets  
And watched your windows for your shadow there  
In your shirt sleeves, leaning over work? 

I should have been the cranky yellow cat  
Howling from the roofs of ancient dorms.8

. . . . .

And the afternoon, the evening wears interminably!  
Each syllable must be said  
Each thought … scheme … phantasie,9  
Of someone's tired ideas. The buffet empties  
And is refilled, with tea and cakes and ices.  
The dean will not allow it to be a crisis.  
But though I have drunk beer and ale, lager and stout,  
Though I have long endured the postdocs' nattering on my own work  
I am ignored. It is no great matter;  
I have seen my undergraduate greatness flicker  
But my postgrad greatness rules, despite misgivings.  
What the hell. It's a living.

But would it have been worth it, after all,  
After the time upstairs and the coming back down  
To find the women gathered in some talk of you and me…  
Would it have been worthwhile  
To have mystified them all with a smile  
To have flirted with them briefly, one and all,  
To push them toward an unexpected fall…  
To say: "I am willing, sexually able  
To please, what you will; come and do it all"  
If they, settling back against the couch,  
Should say, "That is not what I meant at all.  
That is not it, at all."

And would it have been worth it, after all,  
Would it have been worthwhile,  
After the rolling, the sleeping, the waking,  
After the slamming door, after the shocked silence, the space  
Beyond the voices, the cold sheets--  
It is impossible to say just what I mean!  
But if a movie screen could show the pattern of my life:  
Would it have been worthwhile  
To say the words that never have been said,  
Then, turning from a window, hearing back:  
"That is not it at all.  
That is not what I meant, at all."

. . . . .

Oh, I am not Casanova10, nor was meant to be,  
Nor Dashwood11, nor Valentino12. I'm the one  
To fill a place when others are not there  
To take a chance on pleasure within reach  
To touch and be touched, fearlessly,  
Ever present, glad to be of use,  
Discreet, generous and meticulous,  
Quoting love poetry at opportune times,  
And careful not to look ridiculous –  
Never, if possible, a fool.13

I am bold … I am bold …  
Shall I tell all that I've been told?14

Shall I tie my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a pear?  
I open my spread collar, which can be worn anywhere,15  
And listen to the women telling jokes.

I do not think they speak of me.

I have seen them surfing on the evening waves  
After classes, daring to ride the curls  
When the wind blows the water white and black.

But I've lingered too long by the cookies and tea,  
By lovers and ex-lovers I have known.  
Let the hall doors open16; it's time to go.

* * *

1 Dorothy Parker, 'Observation', _New York World_ , reprinted in _Enough Rope_ , Boni and Liveright, New York, 1926.  
2 "Not Reality, Actuality" at [trutv.com.](www.trutv.com/index.html)  
3 Citation 112687 by City Animal Control Officer, improper feeding of domestic animals.  
4 [Mike and Angelo, CITV, 1989-2000.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_and_Angelo) see also [IMDB.com.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0122827/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1)  
5 "Local Bird Populations Aflutter In Feline Stalker Fright", City News, vol. 23, no. 48, p.7.  
6 [Evidential decision theory, Wikipedia.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evidential_decision_theory).  
7 Little textual evidence exists to determine the flavored gelatin preferences of Spike, aka William the Bloody, either for eating or for achieving his characteristic hair styles. [Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Wikipedia.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spike_\(Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer\))  
8 Citation 113879 by city Animal Control Officer, cf City Police incident report 8630509, noise complaint.  
9 [Phantasies, the animated cartoons](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantasies), not to be confused with _Phantastes_ by George MacDonald, London, 1858.  
10 [Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giacomo_Casanova) April 2, 1725—June 4, 1798, noted rake and memoirist.  
11 [Francis Dashwood, 15th Baron le Despencer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Francis_Dashwood), December 1708—December 11, 1781, Chancellor of the Exchequer (1762—1763) and founder of the Hellfire Club.  
12 [Rudolph Valentino, originally Rodolfo Alfonzo Raffaello Pierre Filibert Guglielmi di Valentina d'Antonguolla,](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0884388/), May 6, 1895 – August 23, 1926, dancer, actor, movie star.  
13 ["Meaning of The Fool Tarot Card", Aeclectic Tarot, http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/fool.shtml](http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/fool.shtml), see also [M.M. Blum, "The Fool in 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", _Modern Language Notes_ Vol. 72, No. 6 (Jun., 1957), pp. 424-426.](http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3043369?uid=3739520&uid=2129&uid=2&uid=70&uid=4&uid=3739256&sid=21101366606761)  
14 ["I Know What You Did Last Summer," dir. Jim Gillespie, Columbia Pictures, 1997;](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119345/) also ["Easy A," dir. Will Gluck, Sony, 2010.](http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/fool.shtml)  
15 ["Point vs. Spread Collar", StyleForum.net.](http://www.styleforum.net/t/35292/point-vs-spread-collar)  
16 [Assassins Creed 2 Gameplay – How to Open Great Hall Doors.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMhw5Xne6y0)

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks for betareading go to wyomingnot, zana16, zlabya and lightningbug.


End file.
